4 months ago

The Hobbit was first published in 1937, by J.R.R. Tolkien and is being rewritten by @WRITER43 exclusively for the community as a work of fiction. The book contains 19 chapters, and following the introductory chapter, the rest of the chapters will be paired in a series for a total of 10 posts. All characters, incidents, places, and names are products of actual community members, J.R.R. Tolkien, and @WRITER43's baked imagination.

Certain community members from the LOTR series have been replaced due to them showing a lack of interest in being a part of the community's quest while others have been given a new character. Any similarities to locales and events are entirely fictitious and for purposes only.

This book is dedicated to @HerbnCrypto's family.




Flies and Spiders

@Bundo and the dwarves start their journey through the uncertain and perilous forest of Mirkwood. They arrive at the enchanted stream that @Self.Made.Bstrd warned them about, and @Bundo notices a boat on the other side. They remove their iron pipe cleaners from their travel packs and make hooks as they attach hemp rope to the fashioned hooks and pull the boat toward them.

They pile into the boat and head to the other side when a deer suddenly leaps the entire stream, scaring the dwarf-shit out of them! @HerbnCrypto shoots an arrow at the deer as they are hungry and need the meat. During the excitement and prospect of a robust meal, @Alibi lets go of the boat as he's attacked by flies and goes under into the enchanted stream to avoid them.

When the group retrieves him, he's in a dead sleep. Without warning, more jumping and lightening-fast deer appear as the group fires all of their arrows while @RealKiki85 is desperately trying to kill one.

@RealKiki85, "Damn, these deer are fast as hell!"

Pissed off and discouraged, @Bundo and the dwarves continue their quest through Mirkwood's forest carrying the heavy and sleeping @Alibi. In an attempt to see where the forest ends, @Bundo climbs a giant Jack Herer tree, but he cannot see over the towering Grand Daddy Purple trees that are blocking his view with their budding @PurpleFlowers. They find an abandoned guard post next to a cave and bridge, make camp and eat their remaining food that night.

The next dawn, the group is enjoying a wake-n-bake when @Alibi awakes and tells them about his dream of a great feast in the woods, but he can't remember how he got there? The group is stoned, but they notice a flickering light in the forest ahead of them. They decide to investigate and discover a group of elves feasting on grilled deer; however, the elves disappear when they approach.

When the elves reappear, @HerbnCrypto sends @Bundo alone, but they vanish again in their midst. @HerbnCrypto goes alone on the third attempt, and again, the elves vanish. @Bundo falls asleep, dreaming about eating grilled deer meat.

@Bundo awakes to discover that he's bound by giant spider webs. After a brief struggle, he frees himself with his sword and kills the spider. Tired from his battle, he passes out, and when he awakes he feels invincible and names his sword @Spiderman. He becomes invisible as he puts the Ring on and goes looking for his friends.

@Bundo finds the dwarves also bound by spider webs as giant spiders are guarding them. He throws rocks at them and unleashes @Spiderman to fight off the spiders and free the dwarves. He discloses the Ring's secret to the group and lures the spiders into a fierce battle. @Bundo and the dwarves slice the spiders to shreds as some manage to run away frightened.

After the victory over the spiders, the group notices that @HerbnCrypto is not among them. He has been captured by the wood-elves who were grilling the deer meat. They took him to see their king of the woodland realm, @LordofTruth who orders @HerbnCryptro to his dungeon.



Barrels Out of Bond

The group is far off the path that they were warned not to leave. They're trying to find their way out of the Mirkwood forest when they are captured by armed elves who are led by the Elvenking's son, @ArmShippie.

@ArmShippie, "Don't think for a second that I won't shoot you dwarves where you stand and flag your last post!"

@Bundo avoids capture because he put the Ring on. @Bundo who's invisible follows his friends as they are forced to march across a bridge made from a giant @cannabis branch to the Elvenking's cave palace who has them thrown into separate prison cells.

@Bundo keeps the Ring on and stays invisible for quite some time, going unnoticed. During his investigations, he discovers a massive @cannabis operation and finally finds the dwarves and @HerbnCrypto inside of their prison cells. @HerbnCrypto tasks @Bundo with a message for the dwarves not to disclose their mission to the Elvenking as a beautiful elven female passes through the dungeon.

@HerbnCrypto's respect is growing for @Bundo, and when he returns he informs @HerbnCrypto about the Elvenking's @cannabis operations. He tells @HerbnCrypto how they drop barrels of cured @cannabis through trapdoors under the cave palace so they can float downstream to the lake town of @Tecnosgirl.

@Bundo steals the keys from a drunken guard who has passed out and unlocks the prison cells, freeing the dwarves. He tells them about his escape plan: If they hide in the @cannabis barrels, they will be dropped to the stream below where they can float and smoke elven weed all the way to @Tecnosgirl. They object to the plan at first but soon realize they don't have any other option.

@HerbnCrypto delivers the verdict, "He is right, it's our only option."

@Bundo empties most of the @cannabis out of the barrels, leaving some to smoke as he packs in each dwarf and closes the lids. Within minutes they are dropped through the trapdoors into the stream below. @Bundo who's still invisible latches onto one of the barrels and floats with the group as @HerbnCrypto slices an enchanted snake's head clean off, and @Alibi sees a free meal and snatches the snake's body on the way by.

The dwarves are having more fun than a barrel full of monkeys, and they ride the current until they arrive at the place where the river joins the stream. They make camp, smoke some free elven weed and roast the snake. The next dawn during the wake-n-bake sesh, @Bundo notices that the barrels have been tied together and made into a raft while a few of the dwarves are taking a bath.

@Chipanda, "What do ya say mates, this is some great ball-water!"'s finest and bravest stoners climb aboard the barrel raft and float toward the lake town of @Tecnosgirl.



Please stay tuned for chapter 10, A Warm Welcome and chapter 11, On the Doorstep.

If you missed the opening series of The Hobbit, you can get caught up to speed by clicking the links below.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4


Compliments of @Li-Art

#TheHobbit #Cannabis #StayMedicated

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I always wake for a good #wakenbake. :D


And a good meal:)