9 months ago

The Hobbit was first published in 1937, by J.R.R. Tolkien and is being rewritten by @WRITER43 exclusively for the community as a work of fiction. The book contains 19 chapters, and following the introductory chapter, the rest of the chapters will be paired in a series for a total of 10 posts. All characters, incidents, places, and names are products of actual community members, J.R.R. Tolkien, and @WRITER43's baked imagination.

Certain community members from the LOTR series have been replaced due to them showing a lack of interest in being a part of the community's quest while others have been given a new character. Any similarities to locales and events are entirely fictitious and for purposes only.

This book is dedicated to @HerbnCrypto's family.




Over a Hill and Under a Hill

With the advice of Lord @Ufaz and under the guidance of @Elliot, @Bundo and the baked dwarves discover the correct path that cuts into the mountains. As they climb over the hill, the weather gets cold, and the snow-covered terrain becomes perilous. The dwarves are hopeful of reaching the Great Mountain by Durin's Day; however, the Wizard is skeptical because he knows evil lurks in the lands of @ZPZN.

@Elliot, "Pay attention bitches, this shit's about to get real!"

The group is caught in a violent thunderstorm that's raining giant stones. They seek shelter along with their ponies in a nearby cave. While waiting out the storm, they decide to build a small fire, eat some @BBQ-Iguana, smoke @cannabis and go to sleep.

@Bundo has a dream that a huge crack opened in the back of the cave. He wakes up and discovers his dream is real, and the ponies have found their way through it. Without warning, Goblins enter the cave and try to capture @Elliot. He gets mad as hell and slams his sword and staff together and makes a lightning-like flash and many Goblins fall dead as the crack closes, and the Wizard disappears.

@Elliot, "Pass - Bitches!"

With whips, the Goblins drive @Bundo and the trapped dwarves deep into the cavern of the Great Goblin, @BluntSmoker. During the journey, they see their ponies that are being prepared to be eaten by the Goblins. @BluntSmoker interrogates @HerbnCrypto and accuses them of being thieves, murderers, and spies.

The Goblins discover @HerbnCrypto's sword @Gallahad as one that has killed many Goblins, and they know it as @DreadK. @BluntSmoker is enraged and orders the group to be sent off to a painful death.

@BluntSmoker, Kill them all, and Wizard who's your bitch now!"

Suddenly, the cave goes dark, and the sword @Maxstrell appears by itself and beheads @BluntSmoker, killing him.

@Elliot's voice leads @Bundo and the dwarves out of the cavern as they run across a wooden bridge that's quickly falling apart. The Goblins run after them until @HerbnCrypto and @Elliot turn with their swords and annihilate many Goblins.

@Bundo and the dwarves descend deeper under the hill into the Goblin's tunnels. Goblins sneak up behind @D00k13 who's carrying @Bundo. @D00k13 trips and @Bundo hits his head on a stone and slips into unconsciousness.

@Bundo, "That's fucked up @D00k13, - this shit's gonna hurt!"


Riddles in the Dark

@Bundo regains consciousness to discover that he's alone, and he starts to crawl through the damp and dark tunnel. He wishes that he was back at Bag End reading his books and smoking his pipeweed by the fireplace, but as a hobbit, he is well suited for tunnels. He finds a golden ring along the way and puts it into his pocket.

@Bundo continues to go down the tunnel until he encounters a lake that's impassable, but he doesn't know how to swim.

@Bundo, "This sucks Purple Monkey Balls!"

@Bundo is spotted by old @Acid, who lives as a hermit, alone on the lake's island, which he patrols on a small boat. @Acid is a slimy, dark, small creature with pale eyes. He gets his name from eating a full sheet of blotter acid called 4-way window pane. He likes to hunt and eat fish and Goblins, and due to the fact that his brain never recovered, he speaks to himself with hissing baby-talk and calls himself "my precious."

Trying to size up @Bundo, @Acid tricks him into a game of riddles in the dark; however, @Bundo proves his equal.

@Acid decides to up his game and use his birthday present, a golden ring. When he wears it, he can disappear and catch his prey with ease. @Acid goes to his secret hiding place but discovers the Ring is gone. @Acid automatically assumes that @Bundo has the Ring, and confronts him while asking him what's in his pocket.

@Bundo does not comprehend the power of the Ring and puts it on his finger as @Acid attacks him. @Bundo becomes invisible, and @Acid can't see him any longer to attack. @Acid is terrified that without the Ring's invisibility, the Goblins will kill him. @Bundo, who's still invisible follows @Acid and finds the way out, but @Acid can smell him and blocks his exit.

@Bundo wants to kill the creature but decides it's not a fair fight because @Acid is unarmed and can't see him. @Bundo escapes by taking the Ring off and making an athletic jump over @Acid's head, but he runs straight into the Goblins.

He slips the Ring back on as the Goblins run to attack him, he becomes invisible and barely escapes into the midday sun of Middle @Cannabis Earth where the Goblins can't follow and leaves @Acid in misery and empty-handed.

@Acid, "My precious, I will findz you!"



Please stay tuned for chapter 6, Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire and chapter 7, Queer Lodgings.

If you missed the opening series of The Hobbit, you can get caught up to speed by clicking the links below.

Part 1
Part 2


Note from @WRITER43, I decided to write back to back posts for my fans because it's going to be a hot minute before the next post, I'm going on a 420-friendly deep-sea fishing expedition this weekend with hopes of catching a Mako Shark! I'll be sure to get some pics and write a post about it! I hope everyone has a great weekend and has plenty of cannabis to smoke!

#TheHobbit #Cannabis #StayMedicated

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I did not find my name here / I am so sad mate / If you do not add the historian @lordoftruth, the next chapter, I will delete the history ! / hehehe.

Keep the good work / It is real art.


He's coming mate as well as a few others, just need to get there! LOL Thanks:)

I missed part 2! Gotta catch up now. Great writing as always👊



The animated image at the end is too trippy 🤮


LOL, It gets your attention 4-sure:D