7 months ago

The Hobbit was first published in 1937, by J.R.R. Tolkien and is being rewritten by @WRITER43 exclusively for the community as a work of fiction. The book contains 19 chapters, and following the introductory chapter, the rest of the chapters will be paired in a series for a total of 10 posts. All characters, incidents, places, and names are products of actual community members, J.R.R. Tolkien, and @WRITER43's baked imagination. Any similarities to locales and events are entirely fictitious and for purposes only.

This book is dedicated to @HerbnCrypto's family.





A Warm Welcome

As the expedition floats down the river they hit a boulder, and @Indica accidentally loses his favorite grinder in the water. Meanwhile, @Stoner, @Manish, and @Alibi argue over the leftover snake meat as @Zuculuz points out the Great Mountain in the lands of @ZPZN in the distance far ahead.

The group is starting to realize that the landscape is not how @Elliot had described, but unbeknownst to @Bundo and the dwarves, the Wizard has heard of their troubles and is on his way to help them.

@Elliot, "I'm the wood-elves' connect!"

The hemp rope tied barrel-raft manages to stay intact and deliver the group to the lake town of @Tecnosgirl, a town of exotic and hot women that is also known to the natives as the "Queens of Smoke." @HerbnCrypto, along with @Relaylogix, @RealKiki85, and @Bundo confront the town's women-guards, and @HerbnCrypto announces that he is the rightful King under the Great Mountain and asks to be taken to their Master.

@HerbnCrypto, "I bow to no one - take me to your Master."

They soon discover that @DaddyDayCare2X is the town's Master and Pimp, and he is feasting with the wood-elves who recognize their escaped prisoners. @DaddyDayCare2X is a laid back stoner and he does not disbelieve @HerbnCrypto's claim as the King.

The indigenous women of @Tecnosgirl also believe that @HerbnCrypto is from the bloodlines of the Oakenshield dynasty as they give him "a warm welcome" and a headliner on naked NEWS.

@HerbyGirl, "I'll drop my skirt anytime for @HerbnCrypto - My well-hung King!"

@Bundo and the dwarves stay at @Tecnosgirl for two weeks enjoying barrels of wine, wicked elven @cannabis, fine feasts and the extended benefits of the local brothels; however, the community's quest must continue...

@Bundo, "Damn that's some dank-ass weed, why can't we just stay here?"

@HerbnCrypto makes an announcement that the expedition to the Great Mountain will commence at dawn, and @DaddyDayCare2X makes sure that the group is well-provisioned with food, wine, weapons, and wicked-dank @cannabis.

@Realkiki85 is unhappy about leaving the lake town of @Tecnosgirl and gives his self-acclaimed GF, @PrettyNiceVideo his Discord ID before he jumps in the boat with the other stoners.

@RealKiki85, "I don't cross-post, you gotta believe me."

@PrettyNiceVideo, "Just my luck, he's on Steemit and collecting WeedCash too!"


On the Doorstep

Dawn arrives and the townswomen row @Bundo and the dwarves for three days north up the lake. Finally, they disembark by the Great Mountain as the townswomen leave them where they stand and row away in fear.

The group makes a unanimous decision to smoke bong hits of the fire elven-weed that @DaddyDayCare2X gave them, and then, and only then, do they set out through Desolation of the @Vaped Dragon, a wasteland full of burnt @cannabis trees that encircles the Great Mountain.

They come across the once and prosperous town of @ZPZN as they make camp by the mountainside and discover its secret door, but cannot open it. While talking over numerous bong hits and having heated debates, they try every tool imaginable to open the door; however, they fail miserably.

@HerbnCrypto, "You mean to tell me that we're right on the doorstep, and there's not a fucking key to the door!"

@HerbnCrypto is right beside himself and severely baked as he makes a comment about how fall is coming to an end, and they're running out of time. @Bundo hears a flint sparking a robust spliff of Northern Lights rolled by @JackDub near the stone door, and it reminds him of Lord @Ufaz's story about Durin's Day and the location of the keyhole.

This triggers @HerbnCrypto's baked memory of @Elliot's gift, and he summons the Wizard's box.

@OffGrid, "The Wizard's key - my King."



Please stay tuned for chapter 12, Inside Information and chapter 13, Not at Home.

If you missed the opening series of The Hobbit, you can get caught up to speed by clicking the links below.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5


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#TheHobbit #Cannabis #StayMedicated

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