The Tasty Tale of a Toasted Conference

4 months ago
It was always going to be risky, but Jadu did it anyway - swiftly and without drama, in her usual funky, downplayed style. She really wanted it to work out!


During the break when lunch was being served, she made her way to the door and walked out of the conference room. The staff were aware of her journalist credentials and did not challenge her as she stepped out of the lift in the lobby and then exited the building, long hair bouncing behind her disappearing form.

"Irritating long-faced bastards", thought Jadu to herself as she reached into a pocket, pulled out a pre-rolled doobie and sparked it up, "I'm done with explaining and arguing, let's see what happens now!"

Ten minutes later, encased in the kind of buzz that brings the subject of one's contemplation in for much closer inspection, she had a moment of realisation. "It's really happening, Faaaaak!"

Lunch was nearly over by the time she had made her way back to the conference room. She wasn't much of a munchies person and only pretended to be inspecting the buffet in order to exchange some words with Raju, her partner on the inside who was in charge of the hot drinks section.

"We're good", he beamed as he handed her a coffee, "It's starting to work on them now, look around you". Sure enough, everyone appeared to be relaxed and smiling, the casual atmosphere contrasting sharply with the formality of the suits and uniforms in which most of the delegates were clad, as well as the authoritarian, absolutist tones of the various posters and banners dotted around. "Check out the General over there", giggled Raju, pointing to an enormous man in military uniform who was seated with buttocks flopping out on either side of the chair he was sitting on. He was humming softly to himself, a serene expression on his face. Standing behind the General and massaging his shoulders with what could only be described as passionate tenderness, was none other than the Prime Minister herself. She was singing a lullaby in a cackling, tuneless voice and there was a gaggle of notable MPs and uniformed VIPs joining in with linked arms, swaying gently from side to side. It made for quite a sight.

Butterflies of wonder filled Jadu's tummy at the sight of these ABGC Conference delegates and speakers, some of whom were openly embracing each other in emotive tones and language which resonated with sentimentality and never-before-uttered formulations of personal vulnerability. "This is incredible", she whispered, "how did you manage it?"

Raju winked at her, "You'll find out yourself in half an hour! I ground up the MDMA with the beans as the bitter taste of the powder is nicely masked by coffee. The non-coffee drinkers don't know wtf is going on, and the coffee drinkers are no longer giving a shit about appearances."

Jadu noticed her empty coffee cup and handed it back to Raju. She also noticed a few TV crews moving around filming the strange goings-on that she had observed. "Tea drinkers", she said to herself when she saw the expressions of bewildered amusement and perplexity on their faces, "What a story this is going to be!"

What happened next during the ABGC Conference - the much publicised elitist Conference on Absolute Basic Global Control - has been much discussed and viewed over the internet, and remains to this day an absolute Classic in the annals of Social Trolling in the tradition of The Yes Men and others. DYOR if you wish, else watch one of the various documentaries on what can only be vaguely referenced in this post!


For now however, we have to leave Jadu as she dances on the tables with the 'Overlords' folding under, spinning the party on into ever greater frenzies of liberating self-expression.

As for Raju, he has just brewed a fresh cup of coffee (his fourth) and is chuckling to himself at the sheer lark of it all.

#fiction #story #psychedelics #manifestation

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