Exclusive Celebrity Cannabis Christmas Interview!

in #news
2 years ago

With the holiday season looming just around the corner, it only seemed right to get high with Santa Claus and find out who’s been naughty or nice this year.

So, I loaded up my 1964 Woody Ford Model II sleigh and my band of misfit reindeer and headed to the North Pole.

After some power steering issues, a huge-ass snowstorm, and a stop in Anchorage for some weed, we finally made it!

When I met Saint Nick, he told me the pot brownies I left him last year put him 2hrs behind schedule.

I thought he was mad at first, but then he passed me a blunt. Then he took me into his grow room and I met Mrs.Claus for the first time (I hope I don’t make the naughty list for saying this), she’s not your average grandmother, she’s a total GMILF!

After I packed my hookah with a nug of Alaskan Thunderfuck and got ripped with Saint Nick and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer (who doesn’t need a Bic to light the wick by the way his nose is a lot brighter in person), I asked Santa who is on the top 10 of his naughty or nice list for this year’s Celebrity Cannabis Christmas.

image source unknown

Santa Claus reached in his coat pocket and handed me his top 10 naughty or nice list for 2018. I was shocked at his hand-written notes next to the names. This is what the naughty or nice list said:

Santa’s Top 10 Naughty List

1. Snopp Dogg | No appreciation for the platinum medical marijuana card I gave him last year.

2. Charlie Sheen | Can’t leave the cocaine and escorts alone or Mrs. Claus for that matter, she had to block him on smoke.io.

3. Miley Cyrus | Smoked some weed and had a threesome with Adam Levine and Blake Shelton.

4. Cameron Diaz | Bought some “white girl weed” from Snoop Dogg when I told her mine was better?

5. Justin Bieber | Feels bad about getting busted smoking weed? Grow up kid and Love Yourself.

6. Bill Clinton | Still claims he didn’t inhale cannabis but asked for some Lewinsky Kush this year?

7. Ricky Williams | Stole my idea for Santa’s Real Wellness and changed it into Real Wellness by Ricky Williams?

8. Wiz Khalifa | Took the Claus Kush OG I gave him last year and changed the name to Khalifa Kush?

9. Lady Gaga | Did a 60-Minute interview with Anderson Cooper and never mentioned the CannaCanes I gave her?

10. Bill Maher | Said one too many bad Santa jokes on TV, let’s get Real Time with Santa, bitches.

Santa’s Top 10 Nice List

1. Willie Nelson | Uses the Bio-fuel I gave him last year to run his new grow room and his Apple Cannacider is fire.

2. Rihanna | Showed off the sexy black lingerie in her Instagram post I gave her last year. Bad girl, but damn she’s nice.

3. Jennifer Lawrence | Smoked some weed before the Oscars and there’s no Hunger Games at her house.

4. Whoopi Goldberg | Great spiritual adviser and leaves cannabutter for my reindeer.

5. Morgan Freeman | The grandfather of Ganja and Rudolph really likes his concentrate reindeer snacks.

6. Woody Harrelson | Doing a great job at the National Organization for Reform of Marijuana Laws.

7. Matthew McConaughey | Left me a plate of alien cannabis from his Interstellar expedition.

8. Melissa Etheridge | Got busted at the Canadian/US border with cannabis oil and a vape pen after leaving my crib, and she didn’t rat me out.

9. Seth Rogan | Used my fruity strain Pineapple Express and made a movie out of it.

10. Bella Thorne | Best cannabis kitchen I ever saw. Note to self: Don’t eat the hard candy until you get home.

I handed Santa Claus the naughty and nice list back to him and thanked him for his time. It took a few minutes to round up my stoned reindeer, and before I left he asked me when the North Pole would make it on Weedmaps

I turned around and with my last bit of energy I told him... Fuck Weedmaps, we on Smoke.io now!

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this is golden omg this had me lmao. Love the story...And none of the names on either list surprised me... 😂😂😂

What about Jennifer Aniston? 😍

This was awesome, Made me laugh the whole time, At first, I was like WTF is this, Then I started to read and it was a master piece

This is hilarious.

Plus any list with Melissa on is de facto a great list. Although the Clinton mention wasn’t bad either. But Bill isn’t Melissa. He would most likely rat you out, Melissa wouldn’t rat anybody out. Ever.

Upsmoked and resmoked so Santa could see it better!!

Smoke on!

Ganja smoker Santa

It is al happening here on smoke now....hahaha

Fun post! Resmoked.

Super duper, I love it, it´s hilarious, ROFL! I couldn´t believe what you gave to Rihanna was just that sexy lingerie, it could be more, you bad boy!

Smoke santa, love this.

What a big names made me surprised. Good job.

here is material for laugh... smoke weed and drink pepsi :)