Spiritual and Psychological Renewing

7 months ago

-Greetings From The Fractal Space-

-I Hope You Are Having A Smokey Day-

I remember this festival almost like it way yesterday. Well some pieces I am not able to completly remember or am not abe to put them into words. Just like my lunch from yesterday. This story will not be about the time at the festival as a whole. This is a story about one secific evening there. A evening that give me a lot of clearence about my life, what was going on and whatI had to do. To many people, psychedelics are simply nothing more then a visual playground. To some it is more. It is a way to connect to another place or plane. I am one of those people. Specifically, I am not a religious person. My view point bases itself more on the spiritual concept of existance. Rooted in spirituality, specifically the concept of Tao (Ying-Yang). The balance of good and evil, chaos and order, fire and water, male and female. The branches of my viewpoint strech far beyond just spirituality. When people ask me what I am, the only thing I can answer is Agnostic spiritualist that dwells in chaos magick. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of Chaos Magick you can find more information at the end of all of my posts, including this one. And no, Chaos Magick is not what you generally imagine under the term of "magick" and Chaos des not mean its some emo satanic BS. No offense to any satanist. I am we aware of the true concept of Satanism and its belief and viewpoint. I said "emo" to visualize those puy ass idiots that hide in abandoned houses and sacrifice animals. To get back to my story.

Do I belive that psychedelics connects me to another far of place or plane of existance? Maybe. It is hard to describe what you see or feel on psychedelics to most people. They look at you with strange eyes like you went insane. Being someone who tends to be generally impartial in these kinds of beliefs I can not say for sure if there is something more to it or not. But I like to see it as more that there is then that there is nothing. The cosmos is vast. The sheer size is beyond any imagination. Going by how much we know about the universe compared to wgat we dont know, I can say that the chances of there being something out there are greater then there being nothing. But thats just my personal way of thiking and looking at the world. On that festival, on that evening I had one of the most intense trips I had ever experience. Just to make things clear. I dont judge by how hard they hit me or how much I hallucinated. But by how much I came to realize thanks to that experince. Lets get to it.


At the time this night happened I was working as a bartender in a sports institution. My boss and his wife were one of the worst pairs I ever saw. He was an asshole but honest in your face and she was all sweet in your face but a bi*ch behind your back. They were constantly fighting and arguing. Drinking glass and plates got broken all the time. She kicked him out for his drug addiction, he didnt want to leave and came by every day to make our lifes and workday worse and she was no better behind our backs. The stress levels in me where nearing their limit and I even broke a few times and got into heavy arguments with him. A few that almost ended in fights. Thankfully we got stopped every time. After working for them for 6 months my vacation came and I decided to attend BGF that year on the sea.

The Beginning

The name of the mentioned festival was BGF or Balkan Goa Fanatics. This festival was held in Croatia on the island of Lošinj on a part called Little Lošinj (Mali Lošinj) directly next to the beach that was in the form of a crescent moon. The camp sites and stage were all inside a danse forest right next to the beach. The forest was so dense that the entrance to the camp sites was just a hole in the overgrown plants that lead into the forest. People would walk over campsites just to get to their camp site. But noone minded because every knew that it was needed. The area was so isolated that the police where nowhere to be seen on the festival except during the day of the first day of the festival when they came to check things up. When they saw the entrance to the campsites they didnt even want to enter it. If was on that festival with two of my friends who are also trancers. This evening happened on the fourth or fifth day. I am not 100% sure anymore which one. I lost all track of time there. We also met another older trancer on the boat ride to the island who joined us on our adventure for most of the days. He left us 2 days before the festival ended because he was going with a few friends to Montenegro.

The Haul

During the day of that evening I had got to know a few really cool and chill people near our camp site. They were a group from many different countries. One of them who I met we invited that day for a smoke. As we were smoking I asked his if he was aware of anyone having shrooms. He said he knew someone from his camp group who did but he was not arround right now. So after a few hours his friend arrived and he came to get me. I sat down and started to talking to the guy. Wanted to get to know him and didnt want to be one of those who jumps you "Got anything to sell". Its stupid, people are gona think you are a cop. AS we talked we came to the discussion about shrooms and I asked hi if he had any for me. He told me he had a few portions left. So he sold me 3 portions, each being 2 g. It costed me around 10 euros for one portion so 30 euros for 6 g of shrooms. I felt it was an excelent deal and one I could not let go by. Later, when I returned to my campsite I saw that the guy we met on the boat was packing his stuff. He told us he was going to Montenegro. As he packed his stuff he sat down to smoke one last with us. He opened his backpack as we were smoking and too out two things wraped in plastic foil. He give them us. Then he told us one of them contained LSD and the other a shroom. We thanked him. After a while he went away and we enjoyed the day and chilled till the evening. As it got dark we decided it was time to eat. So I took out my 3 portions of shrooms and they tok out the presents we got. First we ate my shrooms then we opened one of the foils. It wa the one with the mushroom. I could not belive my eyes. It was one shrooms but gigantic. The size of it was almost the length of half of my whole arm. We were first looking at it in amazment. Then we ate it. After that we opened the second foil with the LSD. We split it into 3 parts and put it under out tongue.

On the stage

While we were waiting for it get a bit more dark we smoked one more and went to the stage. The stage was beautiful. Inside a lush forest. We hanged up our hamock that we brought to the stage and chilled on it. Waiting for the goodies to start doing their thing. One of the reasons I loved that festival was for the fact that there was no police at all. No arrest for the whole of 7 days. People were smoking on all corners of the stage. You didnt even have to smoke to get high. After about 30 minutes we felt the psychedelics kicking in. We got up and went to the stage to dance. It was magical. Feelingthe earth beneath your feet, the smell of incense sticks in the air, the smoe of the cannabis surrounding us and the dust from ground hovering over us under the moonlight. Looking around the only thing we felt was love, peace and tranquility. Seeing all those people dancing and happy. All coming together to have a week of no worries. I also saw my shrooming friend dancing in the crown almost naked with only his phanybag covering his parts. Guess the guy found what he was looking for. He did ask me if I knew someone with special K so I guess he found it. We danced for about one hour when me and one of my traveling buddies went outside the stage to the beach and sat down. We were looking at the night sky nd the starts. Seeing an occasional flash of light and the stars so clear that there was not even one part of the sky without a bunch of stars. It was beautiful. We talked about a a lot of topics. I would lie if I said I rememebred most of them. We talked about life, spirituality, death, the shrooms we ate, about the festival. A bunch of things. Then after a while our third friend came to us and said are we up for going to the campsite. We agreed and went to the campsite.

The Campsite

When we arrived in our camp we took all three of ours hamocks and tied the up in the triangle tree formation of 3 trees that was the center of our camp. We formed a triangle with our hamocks and chilled in them. Smoking a few while chilling. The music from the stage being loud enlough to reach us and to let us enjoy it even in our camp. We were laying in our hammock and talking, enjoyin the view of the sky and the trees over us. When out of a sudded all three of us started laughing and laughing without being able to stop. We laughed and laughed for no reason at all. After we calmed down we were chill again untill directly over us a leaf brok of from a tree and we bursed into laughted one again. Whatever anyone of us said made us laugh so much that it brough us to tears. For the whole of the evening we would talk, laugh and trip our minds away. At one point when I belive the trip was at its most powerful I started to feel like I was literally floating into the sky towards the stars, overlooking the world. I felt like being touched by some unknown force that was in a way conversing with me with its emotions. Filling me up with such tranqulity that all my answers that I needed got answered and that all stress and anger just faded away into nothingness. After some time the trip ended and we all were rifing the wave of after thought. WE talked about the exerince and smoked another one. After that I am not sure at which point, we all fell asleep and woke up in the morning. That was one of the most beautiful mornings I had. Waking up for the first time in a while happy and at peace with myself. It was a night that I will remember for the rest of my life. What happened the day after is for another story. On the last day I did meet the guy who give me the shrooms again. He told me the name shrooms. If I rememeber correctly they were called Blue Caps.

The Resolution

After the festival came to an end and my vacation a week after that I was on my train ride back. I was riding the train back with a frim resolution. A decision that was risky but turned out to be as good as I believed it to be. During the triping on the festival while I was "floating near the stars" I came to one decision in my heart that got to my head some time after. I decided that when I got back and nothing had changed at my workplace. If all that stress continued I would give my resignation and leave to look for a better workplace. When I returned and my first day back from vacation begun, not even 10 minutes into the workday the fighting nd stress continued between them. Arguing and yelling at eachother. At that moment I knew one thing.

It was now or never.

I turned to my boss and said the two magical words that I wanted to say for a long time but never could out of fear what was going to happen next. I was in an unknown country surrounded by unknown people. But I knew that was what had to happen. I turned to her and said "I quit". I moved out after one week when my resignation days ended and never looked back. I did visit a few times since they do have good drinks and food but never really stuck around for too long. That place was filled with too much negative energy.

And that was the story of one of the happiest moment of my life. A moment that changed my life and give me a new chance. I consider psychedelics sacred no matter what others thing. It is something that always give me either a good resolution and feelings or tought me a lesson that I had to learn. Many religions and spiritualities hold the principle of Mind, Body and Spirit. Most famous Christianity with Father (Mind), Son (Body) and the Holy Spirit (Spirit). I do not belive in that but I do belive in the trinity concept that fullfils those three parts of being human. If you research anough you will discover that many of them hold that principle. This might sound weird but for me there are three psychedelics that hold exactly that. LSD that affect your mind, brain and give you interesting visual experiences representing The Mind, shrooms that give you more of a bodily spiritual feeling representing The Body and DMT also knows as the Spirit Molecule that represents The Spirit. The only one I am missing is The Spirit to fullfill my trinity. And I belive one day when I am ready it will walk into my life. Untill that moment I will live my life to the fullest and happy with who and what I am.

#smoking #trip #shrooms #cryptosmokers

Title Gif - Backstory Image - Haul Image - Stage Image - Resolution Image

All images used in this post has been give the source here. If a picture does not have a source it is mine.

-----------The End-----------


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Chaos Magick


Existence Observer

My brother. Check him out.

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You talk a lot about your spirituality and i really want to know a lot about it i wish i can get more link, Am an agnostic and i don't really believe in anything spiritual but you getting to me with every single post i read. I also want to have some mushroom some day.

i registered here: https://www.centreofexcellence.com/shop/psychotropic-plants-diploma-course/ because of you. i really want to be one with the forest one day. Love the way you tell your story, so influencing.


I wanted to enroll that course, but, I think most of information you get can be found on internet.


I get. Am just used to systematic education. I will learn more that way.


Wow. Thank you so much. I am happy to hear to that you got interested in it more because of me. I am happy to hear that my words and stories leave such a thirst for knowlage and different kind of experience in you. Mushrooms are a wonderful thing for me but as with all psychedelics the atmosphere around you is very important on the psychological impact of them on you. So when you do get a chance to try them pick your environment. Pick to eat them somewhere where you feel comfortable. For me that is good company, good music and being outside. I learned trough experience that eating them inside in small rooms is not for me but the outside is for me. That site looks interesting. I think I might dig a bit more in it.


Have not used it and I don't know where to buy it in my country. I hope to learn how to grow it myself soon. Thank yoi


I took part in assisting someone with the knowlage to grow them. It is not an easy job. In my opinion more hard then growing cannabis.

I have really enjoyed reading your experience at the festival. The final decision was the best, nobody wants to continue working in a place where there are only screams, bad faces and negative enegia. Congratulations for taking control.


Thank you and Thank you. Before the festival I was afraid of quiting because I didn't know if I would find another job. After when I came back I was afraid that if I don't quit now I will lose myself.