Is this THE LIFE TWO SMOKERS WANT TO BE LIVING???

in #life
11 months ago

I am smoking on some grand daddy and boy have I learned a lesson from ol grandad...

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Hello smokers! I am pleased to announce after two years of awaiting the truth; days before my"anniversary" I am now single!

My smoking buddy andI have decided that our relationship was only a matter of convenience on both ends.

Gone are the days where we smoked up and played video games til all hours of the night! Gone are those excruciating dab hits, he coughed a lung up to.

This week, I allowed it all to run dry. Everything, no smoke, no cigs, no shits given. I have put muself in yet another predicament and for two years have known the intent on the other end was not something he really wanted. It's a free ride, who would pass on that? Me, that's who. I don't care how much you smoke with me if the chemistry isn't there it's understood, no matter how much one tried to mask it. Sure this post has nothing to do with smoke so much... but it kind of does!!!

Every day i feel like a stranger in my home. I smoke and smoke. I cook and I listen. I try to understand the other person and where they are coming from! After years of smoking you tend to meet people you may not otherwise have any other dealings with, other than that, smoking! This particular being walked in my life under sad circumstances and I wanted to see him happy! Did i honestly believe I would be that person to him? No, I felt I could be compassionate and understand life dealt him a shitty hand like so many in this world. I didn't look at him as a project just someone who needed help in finding his voice. We had plenty of grateful times, only while smoking really. It wasn't about getting to know the girl with the Betty Rubble laugh. He didn't ask questions, but neither did i. We just carried on smoking not talking about the issue at hand.

Each day for 700 days. 700 days an opportunity to say, this isn't what i desire. I want to be free... all the while he never realized he was free to leave. I came to him tonight and allowed my self to stand aside and let my feelings flow. Not to belittle or accuse, but to say I know. It's gone, yet you always choose to stay....Why are you here, if it's my name you do not wish to say...700 days and nights existing and never living... no goals to strive for just smoke some more...I promised him this would not come into 2019....i promised i would see him for what he truly be.... so i am here to tell you all i am finally free to be me, completely.

Smoke my dabs as i feel. Order some flowers and toke some more!!! In my time, never torn....

I just wanted him to see; not me, but that he's FREE....

My smoking partner is still here, but what kind of woman would I be to throw him out the door. I told him I wasn't upset that he wasn't in love with me, only that he was untrue to himself.

My feelings do not matter if it's me that brings you down. I told him I will be here to help him achieve his goal of being In his own home....IMAGINE COMING HOME TO YOUR MESS... YOUR MUSIC CRANKED AS LOUD AS YOU PLEASE... IMAGINE A LIFE WITHOUT A WOMAN BY YOUR SIDE, ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO EXPERIENCE THAT FREEDOM YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD YOU HAD....

...but promise me, when you're at home smoking in your new favorite chair, that you blaze one for me and don't be scared. Sit in that silence and allow yourself a moment to say thank you for giving me the closure you needed because I was to afraid to give it to myself. Thank me and remember I saw myself in you and thats why, although it hurts to release my love for you, I stepped aside from the doorway and watched you fly so high!!! You got this my smoke buddy, do not forget to ask yourself when approaching that next smoke buddy. Am i being honest in how I feel....then my smoke buddy you'll know where your path will take you. I promise this to you.

2019 Enlighten my soul!



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If you happen to read this post please understand I'm not looking for a pity party. I want others to know....Always honor your SELF. No matter how scary change may look, look within yourself and allow yourself a moment to understand the beauty in change!!!

A seed so small grows into something beautiful, but only with care!!! Take care smokers💖

This was a touching and well said story. It would have lead to even more despair had you guys kept going like that. I agree. It is not easy coming home and seeing noone. I sometimes feel like that is what my life is going to be. But if it is then it was just what had to happen. Destiny aside we all create our reality. We are the forgers of our destiny. If we allow ourselves to be sad then lif will throw at us only sad things.

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Thank you. I will not succumb to sadness! It will get me nowhere! I welcome this change with an open heart and open mind! Sometimes settling seems the best choice, but more times than not it's never a good outcome!

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Exacly that. Dont allow anything to get you down. Life goes forward only.

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I STAY TOO HIGH TO COME DOWN😂😁

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Thats the spirit. Just keep on going forward and never look back.

Thank me and remember I saw myself in you and thats why, although it hurts to release my love for you, I stepped aside from the doorway and watched you fly so high!!!

I see myself here atm(since some time now) ... kind of in the same situation. But yes, this is the rigth thing to do. Life is too short!

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Now read this back to YOUR SELF!! We are not here in this world to live in unhealthy relationships no matter their form. I hope your situation changes for the good. Either way tho, it can be a great change. That's up to you☺

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We are not here in this world to live in unhealthy relationships no matter their form .... Either way tho, it can be a great change. That's up to you

I know, is what I am trying to do atm ... to forget something that was really really unhealthy.
Thanks again for writting this!!!! :)

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Thank you for reading and I truly hope your situation changes

Be happy, be yourself, do the things you love to do! Life is short, enjoy every single moment!

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That is always the goal!! Sometimes we sell ourselves short when it comes to matters of the heart. I am not a settler any longer! I am Free to experience life as i see fit and personally, I welcome this new found change!