Will I Make It Through The Year...

in #life
9 days ago

Just checking in ...

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It’s been an interesting while ... couple projects got me distracted but have entire process documented for RSO coming up in 2 day 👍

Been eating a lot of Rice Krispies Squares made up with CannaButter. Quite pleased with the strength and effects relative to pain management. I wish I could smoke my weed and get the pain relief without the stone and laziness associated with it.

What I don’t enjoy is the constantly being a useless waist of skin. Which is playing upon my depressive tendencies. Between not being able to sit and being lost in euphoria even just this stupid post is a challenge 🤦‍♂️

I was in a tough spot last year this time ... moving into Covid progressively getting worse over time I am starting to wonder if I will make it to the new year.

Do I even want to make it to the New Year? I can imagine many will be leaving us this holiday season before the year ends...



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Have to try Rice Krispies Squares with CannaButter 😊😍
Hang on tight, 2021 will be better 💚

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Yea the Rice Krispies are good, quick and minimal smell 👌

As for the new year... I wish I could just flip a switch and get this holiday season broke af, laid up in bed, not allowed to visit even family over with ...

Cheer up bro this is all a temporary setback, years to come will get increasingly more epic!

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I sure do hope so but I fear the years that will come first ... need to work to pay bills but I’m going to wreck my body in doing so 🤷‍♂️ feels like all I have done is prolong being homeless after last years eviction for year while burning every last cent of savings I have.

@dook13 keep beleiving in yourself brother ....you make a real contribution on smoke.io. for example....

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Amen brother ... I have been getting premonitions that this year is going to end pretty rough. It’s not really myself I’m worried about though I lament about feeling useless.

Might just be the feelings but I feel like something is looming.

If you need a 💯 legit PlUG 🔌 for pills and buds 💨⛽️HMU🔌🔥🍁.
Snapchat: mark.jordan420
Wickr: markjordan420
Text/call: (330) 778-6814

I love to fuck with you and I think you're a fuckin dolt, but I do hope your mental health is alright. Depression and suicide are no joke and as much as I'd love for you to not exist in my world, that doesn't mean I don't want you to exist at all. I can only hope you're not talking about any form of serious self harm and if so, I can only hope that you do not do so. We have our major differences, but death is not something I think is fit for disliking someone. If you're feeling like you're going to hurt yourself or something or know someone who is or might, please, seek help. As much as I don't like you, I also don't hate you and I don't wish death upon you. Not truly.

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You have wished death upon me previously at that point you wrote yourself off as a human being in my eyes.

Much work to be done, words are meaningless.

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I actually recently lost a friend of mine to suicide (Past 2 months.) and it's been shit. For the first time in maybe a long time I think I actually felt something painful and it shook me a bit in my core. You might even say it's given me a reason to return to compassion for this world, so here I begin, whether well received or not, asking you that if you are having a hard time that you seriously get help because losing another person no matter their beliefs/actions/etc, is the last thing we need this year or to begin the next year.

Look at 2021 like a reset button. A refresh. I'm going to be. 2021 is the year of possibility after seeing that we can endure a year of absolute hell in comparison to years past, as a race. 2021 is our chance to finally begin to fix the issues that have led us to everywhere we are as a people.

Don't give up yet. I'm sure the coming times will surprise you more than you could imagine. I'm beginning to be positive and optimistic for the first time in a long time, so you could say the tides are already shifting (Even if it's in the most minimal and meaningless of ways, from your perspective.) and change is afoot. Hold on a little bit longer.

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You should not need a reason to “return to compassion” in the first place but I wish you well on that venture.

Sorry for your loss, 3 years ago now something like that drove me to these platforms in search of a therapeutic outlet ... kinda coincidental that your need for an outlet has driven me away 🤔