Long time no see, everyone. ;P
I am writing this after a long while of contemplation and wondering if i am still worthy of this whole thing.
I was depressed about a certain potential health scare but I recently got news that I wasn't at risk of.
I had been debating whether or not to give up on this, however, as we speak I see the impact of the intensity of this issue and the overall capsule of time. I found myself retreating from posting anything anywhere(save aside a selfie on IG recently) and giving up on a lot of things...along with the connect being dry from the good stuff. My partner was still getting reggie but I surprisingly had no motivation to even vape for that period of about a month. I have been unmotivated in finding a job so after sending my son to school I would just sleep...basically until an hour or so before I had to pick him up.
As we got the good stuff in about two weeks ago, I began to indulge into vaping again, but not as often as I used to.
I made the cannatea yesterday after having not made it for a good two months and boy was I in for a paranoia ride in my head! I have been re-watching a Korean historical drama(let's just say that it's pretty violent and brutal) that I had on my hard drive for about 6 years and it really messed with my head when my mind was running at 100MPH. O_o
I also happened to catch a cold/flu like symptoms that same night and yesterday awoke with my body aching and the biggest headache I have ever had. So I was in bed for most the morning but I couldn't really sleep because I had no relief from the aching in my bones especially my legs. I spent the whole day yesterday being miserable and refusing to take anything but just vape here and there. My partner was thoughtful enough to make me a ginger tea and some chicken noodle soup.
I feel a lot better today, so it's time to do some more vaping!
In the evening/night...
After doing mommy duties ya'll know it's time for some more medication! And playing video games...in peace. lol
By the end of calling it a night, I came to the thoughts of why I began to interact and post here. I had wanted to make a change in my life to do things I wanted to do without fear, to have the freedom to post(as much as I can of course) about using Cannabis as my medicine. I was trying to stay positive in the midst of all that I was calling chaos and disappointment in life. I was opening a new chapter in my life but as always I have let depression and with it my lack of motivation/fear/procrastination holding me back. I know I tell myself to stop being a little b#*@% and stop being depressed and continue to be positive and STRIVE for the things I want to do in this life. And I hope me writing about this can shed light onto mental health and just how cannabis can help.
Good night to you all. I am going to have some more ginger tea with powder cinnamon and turmeric for my cold. I am not 100% yet but am already feeling 10x better than yesterday(I also have only taken one Tylenol Cold/flu capsule-keeping the pharmaceuticals at a minimum). :) And then more gaming before bed even though I haven't had too much concentration today. lol