He he, chuckle, whoda everrrrr thought it? Barge enters politics as an Independent candidate and gets elected to the Scottish parliament on a ticket of marijuana legalisation, only to find himself invited to form a coalition government with the ANPS (Anarchist Non-Party, Scotland)! Strange things can happen in small countries and Scotland, with its population of roughly 9 million magic-mushroom reared sheep and 5-odd million humans tripping out over Brexit, is no exception.
The elections had been held in the Autumn of 2018 and since then, Barge had undergone a few months of getting used to the dirty game of politics. During the previous Summer he had conducted a series of public talks, educating people about the possibilities of decentralised and incentivised blogging on the Smoke blockchain at www.smoke.io. The radical and revolutionary nature of the concepts he was presenting and his level of engagement with the Scottish population got him noticed by influential people of various political leanings. It was the tension between these competing group interests - each vying for Barge's attention, which had fast-tracked him into parliament and propelled him to his current high-profile status of pothead parliamentarian.
However, the game was complicated and tricky. These influential people claimed to be for legalisation, but actually wished to control and manipulate the manner in which marijuana would be made available by law, such that it might be profitable to their interests alone. There were also still some fuddy-duddies left in parliament - the conservative and reactionary voices of old-school fear-mongering, but their time was up, and even the media were beginning to make fun of their bleating projections of drugged-out societal chaos which would result from legalisation. Nah, the old-school was toothless, but the shadowy figures of propaganda and mass control were not! Barge would need to tread with care.
The upside of his new-found fame and glory was, for Barge the pothead, unmitigated and sheer delight! Stoners and growers of Scotland who appreciated his efforts and who were now happily using smoke.io, came out of the woodwork and offered him their choicest weed, lovingly cured with glittering THC crystals that sparked up the higher energies of creativity and Green Goddess induced super-powerdom. Oh yes, Lady Cannabis herself was guiding Barge and those initial days of mission training were spent in many a multi-dimensional haze as the two of them mapped out his strategy together.
The New Year brought with it frantic change and an even greater sense of tension and uncertainty in the minds of the average person with regard to the future. People were frustrated and fearful of the Brexit pullout from Europe. “What about our jobs? What about Scottish industry? What about our cheap lager holidays?” they asked in vain, looking at each other in consternation. Sections of society were openly in defiance of the status quo and there was an atmosphere of unease mixed with hopeful anticipation. The country was on a knife-edge, but it was also united in anguish.
This is the point at which Barge's popularity really took off and he hit the big time. As an Independent, he proposed integrating Marijuana into the economy in an efficient manner in order to offset any economic fallout from Brexit. The plan – formulated under the watchful eye of the Green Goddess, was simple and clearly laid out; open-source(d) and transparent; easy to understand; equally beneficial to all; infinitely scalable. It was acknowledged that Scotland had enough experience amongst a population thoroughly familiar with all aspects of growing, nurturing and consuming weed to push this through successfully. 84% of the population were strongly in favour with only 6% dissenting and a further 10% humming and hawing on the fence.
And thus, for the three months between January and March 26th there was frantic activity in preparation for the big event: the final vote in parliament which would open up the Scottish economy to Cannabis and banish poverty for good, or else deliver the future into the hands of those who controlled BigPharma. This was a mere 3 days before the Brexit pullout from Europe was to kick in and the world's eyes were focussed on wee Scotland and the drama that was playing out. “This is the battle which will determine the course of human history”, blasted headlines the world over without a jot of irony or understatement.
In preparation too was BigPharma and the Vampire Overlords of Centralised Control. These were the same guys whose definition of the 'Health Industry' is synonymous with a system of keeping people in a state of perpetual sickness by providing toxic 'cures', which alleviate one set of symptoms only to trigger another, more pernicious set. This system guaranteed BigPharma 'life-long' customers, and they would not let go easily. Yeah, they would be up to their dirty tricks and Barge knew only too well that they would be seeking to manipulate and contaminate 'legal' marijuana with the darker strains of Greed and Control. The 'proposal' that they were putting forward was “Vote to make Cannabis legal with BigPharma as the only 'legal' grower and supplier” and this was sponsored by no less a body than the global brand of D4rkness, which served as BigPharma's guiding 'light'!
Maintaining an independent position in the face of global attention and BigPharma muscle-flexing was no easy task for Barge, who disliked red-tape, drama and argumenteering on principle!
At first BigPharma tried to buy Barge off, offering him all sorts of trinkets and overflowing bank balances. Hell, they even offered to make him a billionaire tycoon ruler in the manner of Silvio Berlusconi, with armloads of colourful escorts and an entry-level membership to the Illuminati! When he refused with a shrug of indifference, they upped the ante and offered him unlimited D4rk superpowers of control over people, enslaving them to his every whim and desire; scintillating sorcery to bedazzle even the Masters. Barge found himself having to fetch some paper towels as a result of this, for the sip of coffee he was about to swallow ended up splattered over the expensive suit and tie that the representative who made the offer was wearing. When he had regained his composure after a bout of apologetic laughter, Barge pointed out that Dark - or even 'D4rk' for that matter, was nothing but the absence of Light, and as such quite powerless in the current circumstances. Barge calmly declared that he was already self-sufficient and also that he was untouchable coz he had Light-Green Protection innit! What could a wannabe middle-management messenger of Big Pharma say to that? He left clutching a handful of tissues and muttering to himself about jumped-up long-haired pothead parliamentarians.
“Ho-hum” said Barge to himself as the door slammed shut behind the messenger and he sparked up a fatty of Pure Gamechanger - a juicy strain gifted to him by one of his many supporters, “I wonder how many 'parliamentarians' they have in their pocket already". Ten minutes later he was sitting cross-legged in the outer-reaches of the 46th dimesion and stoned out of his human mind, facing Lady Cannabis for a debriefing and some further words of everGreen advice.
Along came Tuesday, 26 March, 2019, 17:17, the BIG day. Voting had been taking place since 9.30am, with each of the 111 members of parliament to say a few words about their decision to vote for one of the two proposals to be passed into Law:
- Proposal 1: Accept the 'Barge' Proposal without any restrictions whatsoever
- Proposal 2: BigPharma to amend and implement the 'Barge' Proposal as per its Whitepaper so that it be the sole producer and supplier of all marijuana strains, medical and recreational
The atmosphere was full of drama, emotion, fear. The voting stood at 55 votes for Proposal 2 and 54 for Proposal 1. Barge had just returned from a 5 minute 'toilet' break in which he had speed-smoked a packed joint of Gamechanger and he was now floating through proceedings with rubbery, disjointed (ha ha) limbs. He was reaching for the ballot box to cast the 110th vote, thereby making it even at 55 – 55. There was some crazy shit coming out of his mouth!
The last person left to cast their vote was an Anarchist Non-Party member from Dundee who had been hounded and threatened by BigPharma to such an extent that she had made it known that she would be voting for their whitepaper counter-proposal. Barge's ultra-stoned gaze automatically turned in her direction and he opened his mouth to speak. Instead of words, out came the Green Goddess herself, resplendent in her Full Glory.
Oh what a Dance, what a Performance! Up reared the forces of D4rkness in response, backbenchers no longer and rising up in all of their Predatory Parasitic Power, to face the Goddess in a war-dance to the death. Barge was left open-mouthed, so too was the gaggle of MSPs (Members of Scottish Parliament) and international observers, and the billions of global live-stream viewers; everyone spellbound and mesmirised by what took place.
The next moments were not captured by any device digital or biological, for the Energies made manifest by this epic battle blew out all man-made electronic circuits and the left-hemispheres of each brain ceased to process information. The consciousness of all observers – those present as well as those watching online (84.7% of the global population) – was wiped clean of the dust, bitterness and drudgery of old. The Green Goddess not only neutralised the power of D4rkness, she transformed it into a million-billion twinkles of Abundance and Compassion that settled upon the Human heart, dissolving heaviness, pain, sadness that lay so prominently in the pulsating depths of Human Experience. What a purging it was!
When the world recovered its senses again and the circuits had buzzed back into life, the final vote tally stood at 55 votes for bigPharma and 56 for an unconditional acceptance of the 'Barge' proposal. The lady MSP from Dundee stood beaming by the ballot box and bigPharma had absconded, nowhere to be seen.
The rest is history and you will probably have read about it somewhere or another if you were one of the few people not actually present (in person or viewing) on that day! Scotland set the example of how to eradicate Scarcity through the creative opening up of Marijuana without restrictions, thereby restoring Lady Cannabis to her true seat of glory in the Human Story. The rest of the world was not long in following suite. Barge retired from politics with immediate effect and he now spends his time talking to the plants and animals he lives with in a little community of like-minded folk on the lower slopes of Ganja Mountain, on the beautiful island of Krunkypuram.
Thanks for reading
Lady C (assisted by @barge)
This is my entry for the second TrippyContest hosted by @cannaweedness.
The Brief / Prompt:
You are elected rep, in a coalition government. You have campaigned on approval of recreational use. Today is the final reading in the House and the law is expected to narrowly pass.
Before the final vote takes place, you have to plead in its favor one more time... just one issue: you are high as a kite.