Adapt, improve, overcome, develop! [TrippyContest4: You moved me]

5 months ago

Share in a post a turning point experience of your own life of something that has led you to be who you are today - reflect and most importantly, be inspired.

This is the rule for the TrippyContest4: You moved me // 600 + 620 Smoke in Prizes. I did not plan on participating but @raz convinced me to do so.

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I wanted to do this one differently. There will be no backspace. Just writing. Train of thoughts.

Disclaimer: There may be loads of grammatical mistakes, fuck it. It is not my native language.

Turning points

Would I say there have been some big turning points for me in #life ? Well, not technically. It has always been made of few smaller ones, maybe some people would call them big, but I think it all depends from the point of view that you look at the life and what could its purpose be. Smoking so much shit has caused me long term memory loss, like it or not. Not in a sense that I don't remember my life, but in a sense that it is hard to remember things when you want. Usually, some small stimuli can cause me to remember certain situations and people, but not remembering them when I need to like right now.

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Music

I can start chronologically, so that might kind of help in my mental retrospective. We haven't talked about music enough. It is definitely a turning point in my life if not the biggest one. It all started around 10 year of age and me hearing notes and vibration of riffs and drums, bass and singing. Band... Cassettes in my dad’s car player. Then came The Offspring, more commercial stuff. A bit of Wu-tang. Few years had passed, my friends and I developed taste for a bit more aggressive style. Hardcore and Punk with some Death and speed Metal.

All the baggage that comes with HC and punk, In a sense of tradition, customs and attitude is hard to put into words. PMA or positive mental attitude. Friendship, standing your ground. Not falling when you trip, or even is who fall you know there is somebody that is going to pick you up. Somehow you feel your life have greater cause, you learn what is altruism and empathy. Why you should despise stereotypes, racism, fascism, dictatorship. Why any kind of authority should be fought and why you should always fight for freedom and rights of minorities. Somehow, you get to know part of political and economical situation in world. You hear what problems are of other like-minded.

During this time we listened to music only on cassettes, we would buy them and exchange them on concert and what I can tell you is one of the best feelings is finding or buying a new cassette and then getting home listening to it while you read the lyrics or the description of the songs that was in booklet. All usually DIY. Then came CDs, as fast as they came, they were gone even faster. Some of my friends organized concerts that we visited on a regular basis.

Music is probably one of the main bases for my political, economic, social and religious view on life. At least the base for it.

About 13 years ago, in my 18’s I met trance. I liked It. It Even had some similarities with death metal, like the baseline and bass pedal. It Did not leave that big impression on me as a culture of thinkers but what HC has taught me is never to be judgmental. Hippies. But here we have, PLUR or peace, love, unity, respect. That is also positive thinking. But this stuff brings something else with it and I will take it to my next paragraph.

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Drugs

…it brings acid. Weed came long time before, with around 14-year-old me. Do I think of drugs as something that has shaped my life? Yes and no. If I look at it objectively, I can say for a lot of things that I do on a regular basis that they changed my life like pissing or eating, What type of clothes I wear or what is my haircut and how does it look like. For this occasion, I would like to call them conscience raisers. They Helped me to look things from a different perspective, maybe critical thinking or even satire and irony. Nevertheless, they did influence on my observation methods.

They fit in just perfectly on how I look at human body and my fascination with it, with all the little mechanisms and so much details connected and dependent on each other to function properly, in a right way with a right numbers according to this sense of biology and chemistry, just to make one-unit work like a human being. How it all fits in and makes sense. Science, yes.

I look at them as a material or a substance that you’ll intake and that mimics something that is normal function of your brain. This mechanism has side effects that others call revelations or even more deeply sounding terms like quantum. Whenever you see quantum used that is not associated with physics, you know it is bullocks. This is where I stop. I use drugs recreationally just to have some fun. Same thing why some people drink. To release serotonin and dopamine. I enjoy little twisted reality. Cannabis helps me to suppress my feelings. And I like being high and Doing things like that because it is more interesting.

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Prison

Been there for 8 months, semi closed one. This means that after 6 month I had the opportunity to earn with good behavior weekends off for home, 48 hours to be precise. There was an option to work for 8 hours a day as well. Paychecks were miserable but any kind of income is welcomed, and money has five times the value than outside.

Yes, I did my time. Was it pleasant? Just like with all things in life it all depends from which perspective you look at it. From the social aspect it wasn't pleasant because of the small community I lived back in that time. I was missing from home and as much as I lied about going to work in different city, my phone was off, it was suspicious. When I got weekends out , everybody knew where I was and it was awkward to talk to people, they all want to ask but don’t have courage or don’t want to be rude…and roumors, bla, bla…enough!

From the personal aspect I can say it was pleasant, as it is usually with all things in life, it depends what you want from it and how do you react to it. Either you deal with it or let the walls eat you. I worked on myself. Adapt, improve, overcome, develop. That was my motto that guided me later in life. My curve in life. I worked on my physical health in gym. Combined my knowledge and opportunity to develop them into something that will bring me value. This is where I fell in love with calisthenics. For my mental health I was reading, a lot and all kinds from Harikrishna to Stephen King. There was not much to choose from; he who wants finds a way, he who doesn't find an excuse. Chess and walks, a bit of basketball and work for 8h a day not to be bored. Plus, it was a way for me to bring in tobacco and spice or synthetic canna. Can't fail tests.

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Wife (Love)

I wanted to combine this into one even though they are not Strictly related, at least not retrospectively. Can I say when did I feel love? Not exactly, but what I can say is that it evolved into something magnificent when I met my soon to be wife. Before her, yes there was something you could call love by the objective terms or how people describe. What came after is something that is most definitely hard, or I could even say impossible, to describe with words. This is the spark that is a subject of debates in philosophical, poetical, artistical, scientifical and almost any kind of human consensus about reality. Just as this fact does not make it less beautiful so doesn't the one that my wife, or soon to be, has been the conscience raiser of the love as a feeling, in my experience. Trust me when I say, and she can confirm it, that I'm not the type of person that easily expresses its(robot) feelings.

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New Home

As I keep writing the thoughts keep coming so I will add this one as well. Two years ago we have moved to another country. We got fed up with everything, from political the social situation where we lived. Well, it was economical as well. Packed our bags and left behind us all, just our hands and trust into each other. Trust, because we knew each other around year and a half more. New home brought new experiences, new people, new lifestyle, different food and customs, tradition, politeness, multiculturalism. No one to rely on. This brought tears, yes. Fuck me, I cried. I thought to myself why did I do this; do I really need all of this? Shit, I haven’t cried in prison. But it was worth it. Every step forward when we stumbled was fucking worth it. We started to travel more, started living healthier lifestyle, have more secured future as well as plans for it, both of us have payed ourselves schools and bought electronics we could never do back home. Communicational skills are on the rise with new language.

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Not much to add after this one so we are soon done.

Thanks @cannaweedness for the #trippycontest4 . Also big thanks to @coffeebuds for his collaboration with them , @lordoftruth and @cryptosmokers for the bigger prizes.
contest are always nice way to get to know the community and engage with others by developing your skills. I will try to participate in them as much as I can. Hope this one wasn’t too exhausting for you to read. My life is more like a straight line from point A to point B with meaningless existence besides my own satisfaction. For the purpose, subjectively speaking, we could discuss it.

Perhaps I could have ad that smoke.io was my turning point, but that would be “licking ass”, so until next time as usually…

Oh yeah…almost forgot…this is smoke.io, right

Fast, get me some camera so I can do some #smoking session. It was hashish, right? I don’t remember as I am stoner without…I don’t know. So, let me roll one for ya so you see how it is going in my small headquarters.

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Smoke ON, Stress OFF!

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Stay positive, THC positive!

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Inquiries about anything are welcome!
Upvote, comment and follow if you like!
Have a great journey!

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Work presented on this page is original and authentic; made by me with little help from my wife and internet.
Any redistribution or reproduction of part or all of the contents in any form from this page is prohibited without the permission of the copyright owner, in this case Milan M. (@psyceratopsb)

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One small sentence of gratitude to my wife Martina for all of Her support and inspiration!
You can check some of her work
HERE
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My younger brother is on Smoke also, check out Fractal Loop Glider or @zuculuz for interesting thoughts, pipes and fractals.
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Wow! Quite a story. You've been to jail. This is where fair people belong in an unjust world, so: CONGRATS!

And I felt like commenting on your male "robot-feelings". She and you grew up in a society where she was raised to share and express feelings and take care of the feelings of others while you were told that boys don't cry, aren't afraid and such. I'm not a SJW, feminist or else. I do, however, believe in a divine feminine and a divine masculine. But some of this shit is simply what we were taught. That's part of it. If the two of you should ever happen to have a little boy, simply encourage him to express his feelings.

… and thank you for expressing yours.

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Rapists and killers are not fair people.
On feelings, I completely agree, well said.

Good luck Bro. I Cann to this day remeber seeing the change in your life, emotions and overall being when you met her. The difference was obvious to even a blind person. I can still remeber one morning when I came back from the Mororlr event in outlr town and found you too together. I wa so happy for you. Also just a tip. You put a ',' before lords name so the tag isn't there.

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Thanks Bro!
Corrected.

I really liked to read your points. Not often we find such personal sorties. Hope you get your camera soon :)